Girlbossing is over. Hello #softlife?

"The girlboss era is over and that's a good thing. It may have helped empower some women, and that's fantastic, but for a majority of us, it did much more hurt than good."

- Ashley Sharp in Fast Company​

I admit to falling for the allure of the girlboss aesthetic once upon a time. Thankfully, I never bought one of those mugs at least. Now I see that the supposed celebration of women being in charge was only inclusive of certain types of women (young, white) who followed very specific rules (hustling, consumerism, getting ahead at all costs).

​Can we all breathe a collective sigh of relief that we've started to come to our senses and reject the lie of girlbossing?

​Should we all start embracing the Soft Life instead?

​Let's be clear about one thing first: Soft Life began with Black women. It gained popularity in fall of 2022 from Nigerian influencers, who inspired people to explore how they could invite softness and comfort into their lives.

​This LinkedIn post does a great job of explaining more, particularly noting that the Soft Life is about addressing hard things, like burnout, in order to truly be able to transform. The author also rightly notes that white culture isn't always comfortable with non-whites enjoying luxury or questioning whether they need to participate in the capitalist grind.

​Of course the Soft Life has been embraced (appropriated) more broadly now, even recently being discussed in the UK's The Guardian​

Can you blame Millennials and Gen Z, really? After all the leaning in and hustling and grinding, women still make 16% less than men in the U.S.

​"It's not always enough to lean in, because that sh*t doesn't work all the time."

- Michelle Obama

​Honestly, this is all making me rethink how I position my coaching. I am now much more interested in helping employees stay true to themselves and enjoy their jobs, instead of just sacrificing everything to do more and get more at work.

​I still believe women (and men) of all backgrounds and ages can have fulfilling careers, can lead amazing teams, can (maybe) get the salaries they deserve. If they want those things. But at what cost? We each have to decide for ourselves.